Surviving High School: Your Antisocial Social Guide

Kayla Spear

Sometimes I see people who seem to fly through the social aspect of things with a breeze. They wave at people and never have awkward silences and their face doesn’t turn red when the teacher calls on them– how do they do that? Maybe it’s a confidence thing or maybe it’s a need for being social but regardless, it blows my  mind.

If you’re like me, this social panic comes with just about everything. And it’s not another teen angst spin on “hating the world and everything in it,” I love people. Sometimes I’m just not sure on how to communicate with them. Hanging out with new friends outside of school? Rare and terrifying. Delivering papers? Horrid. Speaking in front of the class? A near death experience.

This is a daily dilemma, a secondly struggle. Nobody likes feeling stressed out over small things and nobody likes missing out on experiences because of their fears. Now, I’m not going to tell you to eat more leafy greens to cope with your social issues (Although the Vitamin A wouldn’t hurt). So, even though I am quite possibly the most socially strange person I know, here’s some friendly advice to last you throughout high school years.


  1. Stop caring so much. This is much easier said than done, but it’s definitely possible. Instead of fretting over what’s “cool,” be comfortable. The more yourself you feel and the more content you are (with your clothes, with your attitude, with your opinions), the more confident you will be in turn. Increasing your confidence will help you socially so much.
  2. Don’t forget to breathe. For those of you who haven’t really related to this whole article, you probably won’t understand this; however, some of you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you feel your nerves creeping up on you, breathe!!! Take deep breaths, in through the nose and out of the mouth.
  3. MAKE YOURSELF UNCOMFORTABLE. As contradicting as this sounds, getting outside of your comfort zone will help with your social awkwardness. Getting more involved and meeting new people will expand your social experiences. Growing in yourself socially will only come from, who would’ve thought, being social. You have to meet a variety of people and be comfortable in various settings in order to be comfortable.
  4. Don’t overthink it. If you’re talking to someone and you’re like “Oh no what I just said was super weird and dumb and my voice cracked and I sound weird and dumb and and ifhaieofhiadofijaeoifj—” STOOPPP- Nine times out of ten, the other person didn’t even notice it. The more you overthink things, the worse they’re going to become in your head. Just relax and recognize your mistakes and normalcies.
  5. Plan first. Don’t be afraid to make the plans. If, like me, you’re more comfortable in your own environment, then make the plans in that setting. Schedule coffee at your favorite coffee shop or have a small bonfire at your house. Making the plans gives your comfort the advantage and allows you to feel more “at home” which may decrease the awkwardness of the situation for you.
  6. Step away. If you’re in a situation that overwhelms you, step out of the room for a second. If you’re at a party and you’re having fun but the noise or the energy gets too much, just get a little fresh air. Stepping away can reboot your brain and calm your nerves.
  7. You do you. Above all, be yourself. I know, cheesy. But really, if you want to expand yourself socially or even just stay in the shadows, do it while being yourself. Pretending to be someone you aren’t may be a temporary fix, but it will dissolve the real you as well as harm your individuality.

The point of this whole spiel is that you’re not weird. Just because it’s sometimes harder for you to communicate or to express yourself doesn’t mean you’re strange. Many many many people struggle with being social. You may have to work harder in social situations, but it will grow you as a person and you’ll eventually be stronger in that area. Good luck– and remember to breathe.